The story underneath the life.
On the moment before you react, and what's underneath it, for when the problem might not be the problem. Filter by pattern, or read them all.
The Half-Second Most Men Miss
The most important moment in a man's life often arrives before he has language for what is happening.
Read →AccountabilityAccountability vs. Blame
Accountability is not pretending it did not hurt. It is refusing to make the pain the author of the next chapter.
Read →AccountabilityWhy Blame Feels Useful But Never Builds a Future
Blame gives the past somewhere permanent to live. Accountability does something more dangerous: it asks what story you are willing to write next.
Read →PerformanceNobody Stages an Intervention for Success
A man can be applauded for the exact pattern that is quietly costing him his life.
Read →MarriageThe Story Under the Marriage
Most men do not lose the marriage in practice first. They lose it in the story they start rehearsing alone.
Read →HomeWhy You Come Home and Snap, and the Half-Second Before It
You were patient with people all day. Then you walked in the door, and the edge went to the one person you came home for.
Read →HomeAfter You Lose It at Home: How to Repair
The kitchen goes quiet and you know. What you do in the next few minutes matters about as much as what you just said.
Read →HomeWhy You Yell at Your Kids Over Something Small
A spilled cup, shoes in the hall, a question asked for the third time. It came out at a volume the thing did not deserve, and a small face changed.
Read →HomeWhy You Get Defensive When She Brings Something Up
She mentions one small thing. Before she has finished the sentence, you are already building your side of it.
Read →Work and homeHow to Stop Being Defensive: Why Just Listening Doesn't Hold, and What Does
Someone raises one thing, and the answer is ready before they finish. What the defensive reply is doing in that moment, why just listening rarely holds, what can change it, and one thing to try this week.
Read →Work and homeHow to Apologize Without Making Excuses: Why the But Undoes It, and What a Plain Repair Sounds Like
The apology starts out as sorry and ends up as an explanation. Why the but undoes it, what a plain repair sounds like, why sooner beats perfect, and one thing to try this week.
Read →WorkWhen You Snap at Your Team
Someone brings you a problem in the meeting, and your answer comes out harder than the problem. What happens in that moment, what it costs, and what to try next time.
Read →WorkDo You Need Anger Management? A Class, Therapy or Coaching
Maybe you typed the question into a search bar late, after a bad one. Here is what each kind of help is for, and how to tell which one fits.
Read →WorkA Coach for Business Owners: Which Kind Do You Need?
Search for a coach for business owners and you'll find a dozen kinds. Here is what each one is for, what the coaching here is for, and how to tell which one fits.
Read →WorkSuccessful but Unhappy: What's Missing, and What Helps
The work is going well and the money is fine, and something still feels missing. Where that tends to show up, what kind of help fits, and one thing to try this week.
Read →Work and homeLife Coach for Men: What It Is, and Who It Fits
Look for a life coach for men and you'll find coaches, therapists, groups and programs doing very different jobs. What each one is for, who one-on-one coaching fits, and how to choose.
Read →Work and homeAccountability Partner for Men: Why Check-Ins Fall Apart
An app, a streak or a friend, and a few weeks in, the check-in quietly stops. What a check-in needs in order to hold, who each kind of partner fits, and one thing to try this week.
Read →Work and homeHow to Be More Disciplined: Why Willpower Runs Out, and What Holds
A new plan, a strong first week, then one reasonable exception after another. Why willpower tends to run out, what holds up better, who each kind of help fits, and one thing to try this week.
Read →Work and homeThe One Who Handles Everything
When something goes wrong, people come to you. You take it, you fix it, and nobody asks what it cost.
Read →HomeHome but Not Here
You are in the room. You answer when spoken to. And she can tell you are still somewhere else.
Read →Work and homeFeeling Stuck at 40: When the Life Is Built and the Weeks Run Themselves
The career, the family, the people who count on you. And still a sense of drifting. What being stuck often means in the middle of a full life, why a big change rarely reaches it, and one thing to try this week.
Read →Work and homeWork-Life Balance for Business Owners: When Home Gets What's Left
The business takes everything, and home gets what's left. Why the usual balance advice rarely fits an owner, why the calendar is only part of it, where the small decisions keep going to the business, and one thing to try this week.
Read →MarriageHow to Be a Better Husband: When She's Gone Quiet and You Want to Do Better
She's unhappy, or distant, and you'd like to do better at home. Why the big gesture rarely reaches it, where a marriage is actually lived, what a plain repair sounds like, and one thing to try this week.
Read →Work and homeWhy Am I Unhappy When I Have Everything? When the Life You Built Feels Flat
The business, the family, the money: the life you worked for is here, and it feels flat. Why telling yourself you have no right to feel it rarely helps, what the flatness can be pointing at, and one thing to try this week.
Read →LeadershipLeadership Before Authority
Title can give a man permission. It cannot give him presence.
Read →ParentingYour Child Grew Up in a Different House
You both lived in the same home. You did not live through the same childhood. When an adult child pulls away, the distance usually started in a room you remember differently than they do.
Read →AccountabilityWhat You Are Calling the Problem
Nothing in your life arrived on its own. Which means the thing you keep fighting is not the thing producing it.
Read →Work and homeSomething Is Missing in My Life: Often It's a Question
When something feels missing, most advice says to add something: a purpose, a hobby, more gratitude. For a man who has built a lot, it can be a question he hasn't asked yet. Where it tends to show up, one way to look for it this week, and when it's more than a feeling.
Read →WorkTired of Running My Business: When It All Runs Through You
The business works, and running it has started to wear on you. Often the tiredness isn't about the work itself. It's about how much of it still comes back to one desk. Where that starts, which kind of help fits, and one thing to try today.
Read →HomeWhy Do I Sit in My Car When I Get Home?
You pull in, turn the engine off, and stay there. Often it's the one stretch of the day when nobody needs anything from you. What the sitting is protecting, and one small thing to try tonight.
Read →AccountabilityWhy Do I Keep Breaking Promises to Myself?
If your word to clients, your crew and your family mostly holds, the promises you make to yourself may be the ones that go first. Why that can happen, and one small thing to try this week.
Read →HomeWhy Can't I Relax on My Day Off?
Saturday comes, nothing is on fire, and you can't sit still. What the restlessness may be telling you, and one small thing to try this weekend.
Read →WorkWhy Do I Feel Empty After Achieving My Goal?
The deal closed. The number came in. That night, instead of the feeling you'd been working toward, there was quiet. What the quiet may be pointing at, and one thing to try before you set the next goal.
Read →